Gemini & Getting to Know Your Fucking Neighbor

Everyone online says “Get to know your neighbors” but what does that even mean??

Since lockdown, and even more so since the last presidential election, everyone is talking about community and “getting to know your neighbors”. But what does that entail? Where do we start?

Imagine the 2016 Bernie Bro. The guy in the gentrified neighborhood who can quote Marx and Lenin but never leaves his keyboard and favorite IPA. When we divorce information from humanity, we run the risk of becoming a That Guy. Yes, we need to be informed, we have to have correct information. But if we don’t do anything with that information, what the fuck’s the point?

Start with where you live. When I move into a new building, I leave candy & treats outside my door. Partly to apologize for my dog adjusting to the new space and partly to say hello. Get to know the people behind the register at the liquor store or gas station you frequent. You don’t have to know their intimate hopes and dreams, but enough “How’s it been going?”s over a while will do wonders. Tell them they have a cool shirt and you’ll probably make a friend for life.

Remember things about people. “Hey, you mentioned your mom was in town, how’d that go?” “I tried that place you recommended. It was great!” Author’s Note: I am born & raised in the Midwest where this is second nature to a lot of us.

Use the information you have. Share the information you have. While you’re making conversation, make your own recommendations. Talking about the price of eggs? Bring up your favorite food bank or the cheapest store you’ve found so far.

Offer up your own inconvenience. A friend or community member needs assistance. It’s not impossible, but it’s out of your way. Do it anyway, or at the very least offer what you can spare and meet them halfway. If you’re crying about wanting a village, you have to be a villager. It’s not transactional, but it is reciprocal.

I’m going to be less kind here: It is the most vulnerable people who are teaching these skills. Most of these examples I list I have been on both ends of. And if you don’t start practicing these skills now, the people with those skills won’t be around to help you.

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